A Just A Little Bit Orange Feature. By Clara Pettitt. Copyright © 06/13/2000. All Rights Reserved.

One Week In The Life of a Sunless Tanning Zealot

Any pale soul can slap on some sunless tanner and look good for the next 24 hours. But what about maintaining that sunless tan? That's when it starts to get tricky...

Day One: Thursday
I'm going to apply a sunless tanner tomorrow night, so, during my morning shower, I shave my legs, giving them time to heal. After I get out of the shower, I apply moisturizer to my skin.

My skin has been absurdly dry lately, so I use Johnson's Baby Oil Gel. I marvel at its ability to eliminate the alligator look.

Today [and every single day for the rest of my life!] I apply sun screen to all areas not covered by clothing.

Later that day, checking my appearance under the fluorescent lighting in the office bathroom, I notice that I'm paler than I thought. I examine my arm, checking the inner arm crease, where the first signs of incipient flaking always appear.

Inquisitively, I rub the skin gently and, with a mixture of horror and fascination, I watch my "tan" roll up into little balls and hit the ground. Oh dear. I'm not going to make it until tomorrow.

But tonight I'm going out to dinner and won't have time to reapply. So I take out my Bonne Bell Gel Bronze and apply a little to my face and arms. Crisis averted.

Later that night, I wash my face and neck the lazy way, using a Kleenex Cottonelle Flushable Moist Wipe with Aloe, and apply Au Courant Bronze Face Gel in clear to those areas only.

Day Two: Friday
I don't want to have to go through applying a sunless tanner on a work morning, but then I visualize my skin rolling off during the staff meeting.

So during my morning shower, I perform a thorough exfoliation using baking soda [one of the many tricks I've learned from Paula Begoun]. After shampooing my hair and all the usual stuff, I massage the dry baking soda all over my wet skin, adding more water as needed. Any dead skin that is ready to come off does so, leaving me very smooth.

But now what? Because I'm heading off to work, I have to apply an odorless, fast-drying sunless tanner with sun screen. Where can I find such a rare beast? Fortunately, there is now an inexpensive option, Alba Botanica Sunless Tanning Lotion SPF 15.

First I apply a layer of Johnson's Baby Oil Gel to my feet, ankles, knees, and elbows to protect them from getting too dark. Then I put on my gloves and apply the product just the way you do sun screen.

For my back, I use the Magic Sun Tan applicator to distribute the product evenly. The Alba Botanica product is a light one, but it will get me through Saturday.

Using a baby wipe, I clean my palms and nails. I let myself air dry for thirty minutes before getting dressed. This gives the sun screen time to sink in and insures my clothing doesn't rub the sunless tanner off, leaving pale patches.

Before the thirty minutes are up, to make sure my hands don't get too dark, I massage sun screen all over my hands, and clean my palms and nails again with a wipe. Then I get dressed (in dark clothing!) and head off to work.

Once I get home, I'm in a hurry, because I'm going out to dinner again. But what is that awful smell? Alas, it's me. I grab the Yves Rocher Ming Shu Fleur Spray and mist myself, then put on fresh clothing. I am saved — and so are my dinner companions.

Day Three: Saturday
I spend the day doing chores, so I don't shower until the late afternoon. I vow to apply a medium sunless tanner, no matter what. Sunday morning I'm going to a birthday party brunch and I want to look fabulous.

But tonight I'm going to go out to dinner and a movie, so I need something close to odorless — at least it doesn't have to contain sun screen. I vacillate between Paula's Choice Self Tanning Gel and Au Courant Clear Instant Sunless Tanning Lotion, finally choosing the Au Courant.

I take a quick shower before applying. Since I exfoliated well yesterday, I don't exfoliate at all today.

Day Four: Sunday
My fake tan looked great at the brunch, but now I want to get a slightly deeper fake tan that will take me through the week. So Sunday evening, when I know I won't have to go anywhere, I take a lukewarm shower, skipping exfoliation again.

Then I consider which dark sunless tanner to use. Neutrogena Sunless Tanning Foam in Deep? Zia Solar Intelligents? I decide to use the Neutrogena Sunless Tanning Foam in Deep because I'm tired and feeling lazy.

After spreading the foam everywhere but my face, neck, hands, and feet, I apply two coats of Au Courant Sunless Tanning Spray to my face and neck, waiting fifteen minutes between applications. Of course I use the Au Courant facial flock sponge. After many experiments, I've found this gives me the darkest, most realistic, color on my face and neck. Caution: don't try this with just any old spray.

For my feet and hands, I squirt a couple of poofs of SUN Foaming Tan Overnight into a small plastic dish, where it melts into a liquid.

Using the liquid, I artistically paint the tops of my feet and the backs of my hands using a medium sized make up brush. I cackle in triumph.

Just before I pass out in weariness, I remember to use a cotton swab dipped in liquid eye makeup remover on my belly button to keep it from getting too dark.

Day Five: Monday
Taking my morning shower, I shave my legs. After I get out, I apply moisturizer to my skin. When I'm not using the baby oil gel, I stick to Kiss My Face Olive & Aloe Moisturizer for Extra Sensitive Skin.

Day Six: Tuesday
Taking my morning shower, I gently exfoliate using a nylon puff ball and some body wash. Once I'm out of the shower, I apply the Kiss My Face lotion.

That night I apply Au Courant Bronze Face Gel in clear to my face and neck only.

Day Seven: Wednesday
My fake tan is not going to last all week long. It's time to refresh the color with a light to medium sunless tanner.

But what to use? SUN Foaming Tan Overnight? SUN Luxurious Self Tanning Milk? Because I'm tired and stressed, I apply the Foaming Tan Overnight.

I take a quick shower. Oops! I notice some dark discolorations on the backs of my heels that the baking soda didn't get. I rub the spots with a wet washcloth and they are gone.

After exiting the shower, I apply the foam by the light of a ten watt night light. That's how dang easy it is.